Reflections on a Full Cup
From my heart on equanimity, compassion, creativity, innovation, integrity, and growth
I know what it feels like to work from a not-so-full cup. Maybe you do too.
That icky low feeling of running on dregs and the creeping anxiety that there is just enough (or perhaps not) energy for the emails, reports, meetings, supporting others, and new and better initiatives. But not enough energy for much else. Holding tight onto the mantra of it will be better tomorrow, next week, next quarter, next year. Answering “how are you?” with “slammed”, “busy”, “snowed under”, or the shoulder shrug and wry smile of “you know how it is”. Or perhaps, such as I did, answering from a place of deep denial and taking on more with the people pleasing “can do"!”.
Think about this. This is the “Reflections” segment of the newsletter, so seriously take a moment, and reflect on if you feel like you a running on a full cup or on dregs.
Wherever we are in this metaphor (honestly, I’m starting to get lost in it), let’s now shift our attention to what a full cup, a life of intrinsic abundance looks and feels like in our leadership journeys.
A. Intrinsic Abundance
The following, and how I understand them, come to mind when I think of a life of intrinsic abundance (the full cup). What are your thoughts?
Equanimity. The ability to ride the waves of life.
Even in times of turmoil, frustration, anger, and grief (these are inevitable) somebody with a full cup has or is developing the ability to be steady. For example (note I’m sticking to workplace scenarios), they or their organization are negatively targeted in an opinion piece of a well-read newspaper, and it goes viral (or more likely it feels like it went viral) on social media. With equanimity, they can acknowledge the frustration AND find their inner steadiness (calmness, peace …) so that they ride the wave and take wise steps in assessing the real risk (not the one that is seen through frustration) and in laying out a thoughtful response (not a reaction).
Compassion. The ability to understand, and to have a wise response, to suffering.
For example, someone on the team is struggling with their workload. Rather than seeing it as a personal failure or a threat to their role, a leader with a full cup can understand the suffering and take actions such as assessing expectations and workload, workplace culture, individual needs in an inclusive workplace, and practices around recruitment, hiring, and HR development, before considering a thoughtful use of more traditional HR management practices.
Creativity. While there is much to be said about creativity and artistic expression, given that we are talking about workplace leadership, I invite us to think about creativity as the ability to imagine something different.
This might be a different way of expressing something, solving a problem, developing relationships, or even viewing oneself. Creativity is the idea that might then lead to innovation. For example, the team meetings are on repeat; same items, same reports, same staring off into the distance. Creativity is imagining a different kind of meeting experience, one where the questions, ideas, business information, and diverse experiences and thinking are coming together, and everyone is alert and participating.
Innovation. A sustainable process for developing new responses to problems and mysteries.
There is a narrative that goes something like “I was out of options, I hadn’t eaten or slept properly since I don’t know when, my dog no longer knew who I was, and it was all on the line, when eureka, it came to me and at that moment I turned the business around”. That is not innovation, that is a desperate moment and a gamble that may, or may not, pay off. Innovation is a process, and like all processes it works best when good sleep, food, and all those other things that keep us well are taking place.
For example, despite the ending of pandemic restrictions, perhaps the customers have not returned to their in-person visits. They have developed new online habits and are now eagerly waiting for drones to deliver everything to their door. This requires a systematic review of why, how, and what the organization does. This is not a 2AM eureka moment. This is the ongoing work of all organizations and to sustain this ongoing work the leadership needs to embody it. All the better with a full cup.
Integrity. This is key. Integrity often shows up as respect and dignity for ourselves and for others.
This might look like being transparent with the budget, being on time for meetings, fulfilling commitments, and a myriad of other intentions and behaviours that reflect doing the right thing for the right reason.
Growth. This is what is super cool about a full cup – it supports our ability to keep growing.
Our awareness, curiosity, brain elasticity, and to borrow from Dr. Seuss, even our hearts can grow three sizes on any given day. We work in fast changing environments and folks with full cups have the energy to be engaged with their professional growth and leadership journey.
B. So what?
To get to the “so what?” of this, I reached out to colleagues and friends who seem to have this full cup business going on and asked them how that came to be and how it makes a difference at work.
By full cup (an intrinsic abundance) I mean that they demonstrate equanimity, compassion, creativity, innovation, integrity, and growth in their leadership work.
When I asked them why they show up in this way at work, every single one said that it was how they want to show up in life.
No one said that they work the way they do for the betterment of the organization. Nope, no one.
They work the way they do because they are guided by their values and have an intrinsic sense of self-worth, and it just so happens that their organizations are better for it.
Kim (not their real name) shared this take on it, “I don’t fill my cup to be a better leader and manager, being a better leader and manager is one of the many ways that I fill my cup”.
Repeatedly I heard that the full cup is the approach, not the result, to how they do life.
Hmmm…. So, I poked a bit. “But, what about physical activity, sleep, healthy eating, social connections, introspective or awareness practices, and all the other many things on the many (so many) lists of habits for cultivating healthy, strong and effective leadership?”
All admitted that they did have habits around personal health and wellness, but those habits weren’t something that they adopted to be better leaders. Those habits were what they wanted to do because they like how it feels to take care of themselves and to have, as defined by them, their best health and wellness.
The more I poked the more I started to see a pattern. These full-cup people (can I make that a thing?) have a variety of healthy and wise life habits that fill their cups, and they do those things because they like the way it feels. They are in a sort of full cup feedback loop. They do things that are good-feeling and good-for-them, which then supports having a full cup approach to the day, which then supports continuing to grow healthy and wise habits (as defined by the individual), which then support the full cup, and around we go.
For example, after taking on a team leadership role Mel (you guessed it, not their real name), started experiencing stress and anxiety. Eventually this began to erode their confidence and their general sense of well-being and satisfaction. They started working with a coach, not to be more successful at work, but to be more satisfied and joyful with life. They rediscovered their enjoyment of gardening which led to exploring botany, and soon Mel’s cup started to fill back up. Mel began to be more at ease in life and at work. Mel credits their ability to lead the team with greater focus, awareness, patience, and creativity as one of the key drivers in the team winning an industry award for innovation.
C. Reflection
So what does filling your cup look and feel like for you?
Hold on folks, don’t pass this by as just a nice to have question or something for later. This is where our purpose, priorities, and values meet our work lives. It is a must have question that deserves time and attention. To get us started, here are a few prompts, and as always, go at it your way – do what feels good, do it with kindness and generosity, and do it for yourself.
Whether you currently have one or not, why would you want a full cup?
What brings you good feelings or positive energy? How do they feel in your mind? In your heart? In your body?
What do you do now to fill your cup?
What would you like to do more of?
Given that work and life is busy, what will you stop doing to fill your cup?
Who or what will support you to do what you need to have an intrinsically abundant life?
This is important and I’m here for you.
Babs
Photo by 五玄土 ORIENTO on Unsplash
In “Reflections” I encourage us to take time to generously and kindly contemplate how we are showing up and to compassionately cultivate and nurture our internal growth. Reflect your way and use what is available and feels good to you. Get out the coloured markers, sing or dance, go outside and take in the sky, breathe deep, and know that you are not alone as a courageous leader.
I mean it when I say that I am here for you. Invite me in to your, or your team’s, leadership journey. You can find out more about me and what I do as a coach and facilitator at the Courageous Leaders Project.