Reflections on Stress and Time
“Stress is a perverted relationship to time.” John O’Donohue.
I wrote this quote down last year while listening to a 2008 conversation recorded between John O’Donohue and Krista Tippett, the host of On Being. It spoke to my heart in a way that only a poet like he could. I didn’t learn to read time until my early teens and still today the concept of time perplexes me. It often feels like that frightening old toy, the jack in the box. We wind it up, get all tense, and then it jumps out. And of course it does, after all, we have squished it into impossible shapes, pulled it taut, and hidden it away behind clock faces and alarms as though we don’t want it to be what it is – a wild thing that cannot be tamed. We do not control time, only our relationship to it.
Too often we find ourselves wishing for more time to get our work done, to spend with those we love, and for doing that most sacred of activities, nothing.
Many of us have found help with time management workshops, books, and videos (I know I needed them), but managing time doesn’t necessarily speak to our relationship to it - we are managing it, but not loving it. What would be different about the relationship to work stress and time if we embraced the wonder of time, how fleeting our days are, and how rich a moment can be when given attention?
The next time you start to feel your heart racing the clock or find yourself wishing for more time, I invite you to turn towards the reality and wonder of time and to get curious. What is time? If time is what it is, what difference does it make for me to wish it different? What might I change about my approach to time to make it at best a friend and at the very least just a dispassionate but helpful clock or calendar?
In Reflections I encourage us to take time to generously and kindly contemplate how we are showing up and to compassionately cultivate and nurture our internal growth. Reflect your way and use what is available and feels good to you. Get out the coloured markers, sing or dance, go outside and take in the sky, breathe deep, and know that you are not alone as a courageous leader.
Photo by Akram Huseyn on Unsplash