Musings on the Need for Quiet Time
Dropping your bannock and other reasons for a break.
The other day at the farmers’ market there was a young child experiencing an intense moment of unhappy feelings as their dropped bannock was quickly eaten by a passing dog (no, not one of my dogs, but I think they kind of wished it was them). It was fresh out of the oil bannock dripping with jam and the intense unhappy feelings were understandable. As their family tried every move in the book to calm the child, including getting another bannock, nothing worked until somebody said, “do you need some quiet time?”. The child wailed their “yes”.
Once we have experienced safe, compassionate, and desired quiet time (different from punitive alone time or being socially isolated) we learn the power of getting away from the noise.
At work the ding of email, text, and social media notifications, the ringing phone, the drop-ins, and the myriad of other audible and visual demands on our attention can be too noisy for some of us and can take a toll on our well-being and on our work.
We don’t even need to drop our bannock to feel a melt down coming on.
And yet, we are hesitant to turn down the noise even a notch, never mind taking a break and unplugging the whole lot. Perhaps we fear appearing unproductive, lacking in commitment, or facing our own beliefs around being needed and of value.
As you browse the below, I urge you to ask, “am I and my leadership work being well served by noisy habits?”.
Be curious, take what works for you, leave the rest, and give me a shout if you want to talk more about quiet time and the other good stuff of your leadership journey.
Emails.
Every now and then I wonder how we did business without email and how we got to where we are now with near instant communication that for many doesn’t end at the end of the official work day. I invite you take stock of your email habits and what you might want to change.
Does every email need an immediate response, or a response at all?
How effective are the organization’s protocols about using cc or bcc and “fyi” or “response needed” or “urgent” in the subject line?
What is the expectation on turn-around time for emails?
Are you able to switch off notifications and schedule your email checking?
Do you regularly check emails outside of your official working hours even when there is no looming emergency? And by emergency, I mean fire, flood, earthquake, extreme temperatures, blizzard ....
Social media and other online distractions.
They aren’t what they are cracked up to be.
Sure, it’s good to connect with people, read the news, “like” the dog pictures, and do a quick scan of what is out there and might be worthy of a deeper dive at another time. But let’s be honest, most of the time is spent scrolling while being bombarded by advertising, click-bait, and not-so-great thinking.
It doesn’t feel good to look up from the screen only to realize that the intended “quick check” was a serious loss of your precious time that could have been better spent napping.
I may have been a wee bit skeptical the first time I heard a colleague say that yoga, stretching, or deep breathing was a better transition between work tasks than checking social media, but I now think that they are on to something.
Unscheduled phone calls and drop-ins.
Some like them, some don’t, and they are always an interruption.
When I was young and inconsiderate my mother-in-law, who couldn’t understand my not answering the phone, said “but what if it’s an emergency?” and I responded with “if it’s an emergency, shouldn’t you be calling 911?”. Ouch, not a great response. Still today, when people ask for my phone number, I let them know that unless we have a scheduled call, I don’t answer the phone - in fact the ringer is off so I don’t even know that you are calling. My point being, even if you enjoy answering the phone or having folks drop by while you are working, it is still unplanned additional noise to your day.
Some folks, like post-secondary instructors or health practitioners, have office hours as scheduled time that can be interrupted with unplanned visits. Being truly focused on the needs of the people before us, rather than being interrupted from other work, is one of the kindest things we can do for folks who need our attention.
For those in leadership and management positions, there is a difference between being available and being interrupted. Again, emergencies (see above “emails”) are different.
Meetings.
Do you need to be at the meeting?
Funny how when they get cancelled someone says something about the “gift of time”.
Facilitating meetings and coaching others on how to hold space for timely, productive, and GREAT meetings is one of my work joys. I’ll write more on this soon. Just know, that if your meetings feel like a waste of time, then they are a waste of time. But they don’t have to be.
Breaks.
Take them and take them wisely.
A break is not for catching up on work – there is always something more to do (see Musings on Slowing Down).
A break isn’t for running errands or having appointments at the bank, doctors, or with your kid’s teacher. I say this with understanding for the very real challenge of trying to fit life needs around work. If we need to run errands on our work breaks, let’s do it with compassion for our over-stretched selves, acknowledge that it wasn’t a break, and find one errand sometime soon that can be rescheduled or delegated.
It’s called a break!
Do something truly nourishing such as breathing in the fresh air or losing yourself in a pleasant view or sound.
Even at your desk communing with a plant or a favourite stone or artwork is way better than anything on your device.
Stretch or move your body as is available and feels good for you.
Really enjoy that cup of tea.
Ease your mind and soul with however you do it, such as with meditation or prayer. I work across the street from a school and sometimes I take a few minutes break and listen to the kids singing, laughing, or having an earnest conversation about superpowers. Nothing like taking stock of my lack of superpowers to put things back into perspective.
Final Words (for now).
Not everyone has the privilege of taking breaks, saying “I’ll pass” to a meeting, or not answering the phone.
If you are in a leadership position, you have this privilege. And the best thing to do with privilege in your work life is to make work better for others.
So, what are you going to do, or stop doing (be kind to yourself and start where you feel you can), to take some quiet time and to spread quiet time throughout your workplace?
Photo credit: Babs
In the photo Journey is about 6 months old and he is taking a break from digging in the garden.
You can find out more about me and why and how I do my work as a coach and facilitator at the Courageous Leaders Project.
Wise and must be said ...