July 2nd List
Messiness, joy, futurism, feedback, and Stella Dallas.
Here are a handful of the readings, viewings, and listenings that have recently caught my attention and left a mark on my thinking.
1
“The best way to choose what to keep and what to throw away is to take each item in one's hand and ask: “Does this spark joy?” If it does, keep it. If not, dispose of it. This is not only the simplest but also the most accurate yardstick by which to judge.”
Most likely you are all somewhat familiar with the above quote from Marie Kondo, or at least a misquote, riff, or parody on stuff sparking joy. You may also feel done with any further references to the KonMari Method and are about to scroll to #2.
Well hold onto your sorting baskets because it turns out that I’m not done yet.
Why?
Because so many of us are struggling with messy work spaces, both physically and online, and we are too often unaware of the affect this is having on our well-being.
I confess that I like a good tidy and I consider a decluttering weekend to be a party. I also know that when things start to feel too busy or overwhelming all I need to do is look at my work table, filing structure, or reading pile to see a visual manifestation of my messy buzzing brain. A messy buzzing brain that if not dealt with will start to undermine my work and yes, my joy.
A couple of months ago, along with some other great finds at Faking Sanity in Dawson Creek, B.C., I ran across Joy at Work by Marie Kondo and Scott Sonenshein. I was a little skeptical and judgy when I picked it up, but I am so digging what they have to say.
The book is a straightforward practical look at how not just our work spaces, but our actual approaches to work, get out of control, cluttered, messy, and in the end undermine what we value and how we are able to show up and contribute. My favourite chapters are:
Tidying Time (Chapter 5)
Part of my personal and professional development has been around my relationship to time and I found the section “Don’t be so fast to say yes” delightfully affirming and permissive. Some of you may have been surprised or even impressed by receiving a “no” from me over the past year. I know I have been.
Tidying Your Network (Chapter 7)
This really spoke to me as someone who enjoys connecting with and working with people.
We all have different thresholds at different times of our lives when it comes to being messy or disorganized. For me this is not about winning the tidy desk of the week award, it is about that key feeling and outlook to doing leadership differently. It is about joy.
From The Guardian, “How Marie Kondo changed her mind about mess: ‘I realised perfect order was not my goal - it was spending time with my kids’” (Deborah Linton, March 30, 2024)
Curious about what working with an organizational specialist might look like? Check out the work of Cynthia Ford, an ADHD Organizing and Chronic Disorganization Specialist, at Three Things.
2
Futurist Amy Webb on What’s Coming (and What’s Here)
Okay, I admit that when I see “futurist” I can get a little hesitant. I’ve unfortunately seen organizations trade their need to develop in-house strategic and creative thinking for some over-priced self-branded futurist whose only offer was uncritical excitement for the future of tech and how it will save us.
But Amy Webb is not that. She brings credibility to being a futurist with trend reports that are eerily accurate, heavy duty research chops, and data driven scenarios that are so plausible I’m ready to roll the dice on whatever she says.
I was listening to this podcast episode with Amy Webb and Brené Brown while cooking dinner a few weeks ago and my attention was split between the task at hand, removing cats from the counter and sidestepping dogs, when I was like WHAT WAS THAT?!
I grabbed my phone and hit rewind, listened, and then hit rewind again.
I was in awe. And maybe a bit in love.
Amy Webb said,
“The work is not to be prepared for everything, it is to be prepared for anything.”
Wow.
3
Supercommunicators : How to Unlock the Secret Language of Connection, by Charles Duhigg
This book made me think again about a Courageous Leaders Book Club.
Who’s with me on this?
4
Adam Grant on feedback.
45 second video on LinkedIn (Adam Grant, June 27, 2024)
How to Give & Get Constructive Feedback (Adam Grant on the Huberman Lad Podcast, April, 2024)
I’m not delighted with either of these links and they are not tabs that have stayed open, but they have been part of my thinking over the past couple of months as I work on board assessments and executive director / CEO performance reviews (slightly icky term).
For quite a few years I have been poking at feedback and assessment approaches and tools with a pretty sharp stick and with much compassion for the people involved in the giving and receiving. Here is what I have found:
The “feedback sandwich” is still being used. A lot. Stop using it. If you need more than my saying “stop it” here is a so-so 2017 critique from Forbes and some recent thoughts from Adam Grant in “Stop Serving the Compliment Sandwich” (January 2024).
If you and your organization are not doing the work of psychological safety, how do you think feedback, not just that perceived as negative but also positive, is going to land? If you don’t know, review the track record.
Yes, annual formalized reviews are great for record keeping and for analyzing trends. They can also be stressful, resented, and are very often poorly designed and delivered. We can do this better. I know because I work with organizations who want to be purposeful and understand that leadership development is more than a score card.
A coaching or developmental approach needs to be baked into every feedback moment and into assessment and review tools and approaches. Make this an organizational and leadership priority. Yes, you do have the time for this.
Useful feedback is best partnered with tangible plans and genuine support. If nothing changes, nothing changes.
I already mentioned the importance of psychological safety. I’m doing so again because it needs its own bullet point.
While all feedback is a gift, not all gifts are useful or need to be kept.
5
The following are here because beauty, complexity, and wonder are part of a courageous leadership journey. And because they have given me joy in recent weeks.
Fresh Water for Flowers, Valérie Perrin, English translation by Hildegarde Serle (2018, English publication, 2020)
The Covenant of Water, Abraham Verghese (2023)
Stella Dallas, with Barbara Stanwyck (1937)
Valerie June, The Moon and Stars: Prescriptions for Dreamers (2021) (Rolling Stone review) and her book of poetry, Maps For The Modern World (2021)
Photo by Ryan Johns on Unsplash
I’m here for the mess and the joy. Find out more about my work as a facilitator and a coach at the Courageous Leaders Project. While you are there, book some time for us to have a chat about how we might work together.